This is paragraph text. Double click here to edit and add your own text.
(C) 15 Nov 2019 Nancy E. Harris
One surprisingly warm Saturday morning in December, I was out for a stroll in my neighborhood in Florida, and stopped to chat with Mary, one of my acquaintances from the area. She pointed out an approximately 5-year-old boy across the street in the park, playing with some other children. He was blond, somewhat muscular, blue-eyed, and not from the neighborhood. Mary was concerned that he was alone, without parents, a nanny, or an older sibling to watch him, and thought that she had seen him before, a few streets over, perhaps on Haberdashery Street. She had to watch her own children, so wondered if I could take him to try to find his home.
Soft-hearted as I am, I said, “Yes.” And then I walked over to the boy, squatted down to his level and said, “Hi!” I’m Mrs. Johnson. What’s your name?” To which the boy replied, “Bobby.” “Well, Bobby, we noticed that you are here all by yourself, and thought that your parents might be worried about you. What do you think?” “Maybe.” “I would be glad to walk with you to see if we can find them, if that’s ok with you?” “OK, but I’m not lost.”
And with that, I stood up, took his offered hand, and we started out. I asked if he knew his street’s name, and he wasn’t clear, stumbling over Mic-something, so we just started in the direction of Haberdashery. Along the way, I asked any adults out in their yards if they knew him, but the answer was always “No.”
Eventually we arrived on Haberdashery Street, and Bobby pointed out a house where a birthday party was going on in the back yard. I took him to the yard, and he ran off to play with the other children. I asked one of the parents if they knew the boy, but they also said “no” and directed me to a woman inside the house. When I went in, explained, and asked the young woman there (who was oddly wrapped in a colorful quilt even though it wasn’t cold out) about Bobby, she said that she thought that the boy was from one more street to the West, that he hadn’t actually been invited to this birthday party, but that he was welcome to stay and play while I tried to find his parents.
Thanking her, and seeing that Bobby was preoccupied and contented, I started out again on my quest. The next street over, McGillicutty Lane, was relatively quiet, but I did hear some frantic voices on the large covered porch of one of the older homes. When I went up the walk, I heard a man saying, “But where could he have gone?” And I knew that I’d found them. At least, I hoped that I’d found them.
“Excuse me, but are you Bobby’s parents?” The couple turned, startled, and said “Yes!” in a rush, at the same time. “Do you know where he is?” I replied that we’d found him four blocks away, that he was safe, and to come with me. Along the way, I explained how I came to be there. When we arrived at the party house, and they had breathed sighs of relief at seeing him playing in the yard, they then began to try to determine how to punish him—perhaps by taking away his guard duties for the presents stacked in the living room, waiting for Christmas.
I asked them if they would mind an old lady offering some advice learned from hard experience…they agreed…and I said not to punish him until he failed at his guard duty. I then called the boy over to talk to him. I sat down on a porch step and said to him, very seriously:
“Bobby, you are one darn smart boy, right?” (He nodded.) “You know, when you are smart, it comes with lots of responsibilities. Do you know what that word means? (He shook his head.) It means that you have certain jobs that you have to do. One of those jobs is to make sure you think about other people’s feelings when you plan to do something. Like this morning, you decided to take a walk and explore, right? (He nodded.) But I’m guessing that you didn’t think about what your mommy and daddy might feel when they found you gone. (He shook his head.) I had the same problem when I was young—I was so smart, that I guess I thought everyone else would know that I was, and would know that I was ok. But that wasn’t true. You see, mommies and daddies also have very big responsibilities. Do you know what their biggest job is?”
“To take care of me?”
“Yes! And to make sure that you are safe until you are 21 years old. That’s a long time, isn’t it? (He nodded.) Now, I know that in your own head, you are already a grownup. You can think for yourself, right? (He nodded.) BUT…there is a difference between now and when you are fully physically grown, and that difference is experience.
“That means that lots of things will happen as you grow up, and you will learn a lot from those things. When you are that magic number of 21, you won’t feel inside that you are any different than you are right now. There is no magic moment that you suddenly become an adult. But you do learn lots of useful things along the way—like how to get along with people, even if you don’t like them very much, and how to work together, and how to use tools of all kinds, and what the world is like. Does that make sense to you? (He nodded.)
“So, one of your two jobs, or main responsibilities, as you grow up, is to try to think about what other people will feel when you do or say something. You don’t want to scare them or hurt their feelings or stop them from doing their own jobs. And sometimes they will not want you to do what you want to do. Remember that they have the responsibility to keep you safe, and what you want to do might not seem safe to them. If that is true, it is also your responsibility to listen and understand. OK?” (Bobby nodded.)
And your other job is to learn—learn as much as you can about life and the world. Do you think that you can do that?” (Bobby nodded.) Excellent! I knew you were one very smart boy! Now, before you go home with your parents, I have just one question for you…what did you learn from your experience this morning?”
Bobby thought deeply for a minute or so and then answered. “I need to tell Mommy and Daddy if I want to do something that might be scary for them.”
All of the adults sighed, in relief. “Yes, Bobby. You learned something very, very important today! Good work!”
And after I stood up, received a flurry of thanks from Bobby’s parents, and said goodbye to the three of them, I continued on my Saturday morning stroll around the neighborhood.